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VIEWING 1 - 9 OUT OF 99 BLOGS.
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MEMO
DATE: 10/19/2008 22:12:51 / MOOD: in love
New Policy for Latino Employees effective immediately! Several visitors to our office have brought to our attention that our Spanish-speaking employees commonly use offensive language. Such behavior, in addition to violating firm practices, is highly unprofessional, offensive both to visitors and employees, and will not be tolerated. We have decided to implement a series of rules in our office and would expect them to be applied. It is expected that ALL employees immediately adhere to these rules: 1 - Phrases like ' cabrón ' , ' ah, chingado ' , ' como chingas ' , and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get. 2 - Non-important matters should not be addressed as ' pendejadas ' .. 3 - You will not say ' la cagó ' when someone makes a mistake, or ' ya cago el palo ' if you see someone being reprimanded. All forms and derivatives of the word ' cagar ' are inappropriate in our environment. 4 - Lack of determination will not be referred to as ' falta de huevos ' , nor will a person with lack of initiative be referred to as ' huevon ' or ' mamón ' . 5 - No Manager or Supervisor , under any circumstances, will be referred to as ' hijo de la chingada ' , ' culero ' or ' ese cabrón ' . 6 - When a proposal is presented, the phrase ' estas son babosadas ' must not be used. 7 - Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not be referred to as ' pinche chingaderas ' . 8- Do not say ' como jode ' if a person is persistent, or ' se jodió ' if somebody is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say ' puta madre ' , or ' esto ya valió madre ' when matters become complicated in your line of work. 9 - When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say ' vete a la chingada cabron ' . 10- Do not substitute ' ¿Que Chingados quieres? ' for ' May I help you? ' 11- When leaving the office, using the phrase ' me voy a la chingada ' is not proper. 12- When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as ' it broke down ' , not as ' esta chingadera valió madre ' . 13- Last but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say ' me voy a limpiar el culo con esto ' . Please file this memo properly. GRACIAS, EL PINCHE HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT
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Seven Kind Of Sex
DATE: 10/19/2008 21:30:36 / MOOD: in love
Seven Kinds of Sex ; Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex . ; The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet Someone and you both have sex until you are Blue in the face. ; The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner For a short time and you are so needy you will Have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. ; The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner For a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and You usually have sex only in your bedroom. ; The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner For too long. When you pass each other in the Hallway you both say 'screw you.' ; The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun In the afternoon and Nun at night.(Very Popular) ; The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your wife any More. She takes you to court and screws you In front of everyone. ; And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. * You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy your self. ; PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO TELL ME WHAT STAGE YOU ARE IN. I have enough problems of my own love you always ..... PapoVilches 
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My Kind of Doctor
DATE: 10/19/2008 12:53:51 / MOOD: full of life
My Kind of Doctor Will I Live to see 80? Here's something to think about.* &nb sp; * I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' formy age.* * A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'* * He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'* *'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'* * Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?* * 'I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!* * 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'* * 'No, I don't,' I said.* * He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'* * 'No,' I said. * He looked at me and said,.... 'Then, why do you even give a shit? Como siempre se les quiere de gratis. V/R Papo Vilches 
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Roses & Hanging Baskets
DATE: 09/23/2008 19:28:00 / MOOD: full of life
To my gardening friends.... Enjoy your hanging baskets. Love ROSES & HANGING BASKETS? A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!' and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate.... The grandmother says, 'Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets. Happy Gardening. Como siempre se les quiere de gratis V/R Papo Vilches
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Los Gallegos
DATE: 09/21/2008 13:41:36 / MOOD: full of life
Subject: Gallegadas EL SUPOSITORIO GALLEGO. Son las 2:00 am. Venancio tiene temperatura alta y su amigo, Juan, le dice: - Hay que hablarle a Paco, él siempre sabe qué hacer. Marcan el número y contesta Paco, medio dormido: - Bueno?. - Paco. . . Soy Juan. Fíjate que Venancio tiene alta temperatura y no sabemos qué hacer. - Dile que se compre unos supositorios. Paco cuelga. Juan le dice a Venancio: - Dice Paco que te compre unos supositorios. - ¿Y dónde los vamos a comprar?, pregunta Venancio. Vuelven a llamar a Paco. - Bueno? - Fíjate, Paco, que no sabemos donde comprar los supositorios. - ¡Joder! ¡pues en la farmacia!', y cuelga muy enojado. Van Juan y Venancio a la farmacia. - ¿Me da unos supositorios por favor?. - ¿Para niño o para adulto?, pregunta el boticario. Se miran los dos amigos y dicen . Hay que hablarle a Paco. - Bueno?. - Mira, Paco, no sabemos si comprar los supositorios para adulto o para niño. - Imbécil, ¿qué es Venancio? ¿Un adulto o un niño?. - Pues un adulto. - ¡Carajo, pues cómprale los de adultos!. Compran los supositorios y se van a casa. Cuando ven el supositorio,se empiezan a preguntar: - Bueno, ¿y ésto qué? ¿se toma? ¿se unta? se mastica? ¿o qué?. Hay que hablarle a Paco. - Bueno!. - Paco, es que ya compramos los supositorios pero no sabemos si se untan, se mastican o se toman. - ¡Joder! dile a Venancio que se los meta por el culo!. y cuelga. - Venancio, pues yo creo que mejor te lo tomas con un vaso de agua porque Paco ya se encabronó. Como siempre se les quiere de gratis... V/R Papo Vilches
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Los Gallegos
DATE: 09/21/2008 13:41:04 / MOOD: in love
Subject: Gallegadas EL SUPOSITORIO GALLEGO. Son las 2:00 am. Venancio tiene temperatura alta y su amigo, Juan, le dice: - Hay que hablarle a Paco, él siempre sabe qué hacer. Marcan el número y contesta Paco, medio dormido: - Bueno?. - Paco. . . Soy Juan. Fíjate que Venancio tiene alta temperatura y no sabemos qué hacer. - Dile que se compre unos supositorios. Paco cuelga. Juan le dice a Venancio: - Dice Paco que te compre unos supositorios. - ¿Y dónde los vamos a comprar?, pregunta Venancio. Vuelven a llamar a Paco. - Bueno? - Fíjate, Paco, que no sabemos donde comprar los supositorios. - ¡Joder! ¡pues en la farmacia!', y cuelga muy enojado. Van Juan y Venancio a la farmacia. - ¿Me da unos supositorios por favor?. - ¿Para niño o para adulto?, pregunta el boticario. Se miran los dos amigos y dicen . Hay que hablarle a Paco. - Bueno?. - Mira, Paco, no sabemos si comprar los supositorios para adulto o para niño. - Imbécil, ¿qué es Venancio? ¿Un adulto o un niño?. - Pues un adulto. - ¡Carajo, pues cómprale los de adultos!. Compran los supositorios y se van a casa. Cuando ven el supositorio,se empiezan a preguntar: - Bueno, ¿y ésto qué? ¿se toma? ¿se unta? se mastica? ¿o qué?. Hay que hablarle a Paco. - Bueno!. - Paco, es que ya compramos los supositorios pero no sabemos si se untan, se mastican o se toman. - ¡Joder! dile a Venancio que se los meta por el culo!. y cuelga. - Venancio, pues yo creo que mejor te lo tomas con un vaso de agua porque Paco ya se encabronó. Como siempre se les quiere de gratis... V/R Papo Vilches
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Gafas Japonesas
DATE: 09/08/2008 10:01:40 / MOOD: in love
GAFAS JAPONESAS > > > UN DOMINICANO DE VIAJE EN JAPON, SE COMPRA UNAS GAFAS DE > ALTA TECNOLOGIA, QUE HACE VER A LAS PERSONAS DESNUDAS. > EL DOMIMNICANO SE PONE LAS GAFAS, MIRA, Y VE DESNUDAS A > LAS MUJERES....ESTABA ENCANTADO. > SE PONE LAS GAFAS....DESNUDAS. > SE QUITA LAS GAFAS...VESTIDAS. > --!!!! ALABAINA QUE MARAVILLA!!!!! > > EL DOMINICANO DE REGRESO A LA REPUBLICA, LOCO POR > MOSTRARLE A SU MUJER LA NOVEDAD, EN EL AVION SE SIENTE ENLOQUECIDO AL VER A LAS > AEROMOSAS TOTALMENTE DESNUDAS. > > CUANDO LLEGA A CASA, INMEDIATAMENTE SE PONE LAS GAFAS PARA > VER A SU ESPOSA DESNUDA, ABRE LA PUERTA.. . > VE A SU MUJER...Y A UN AMIGO.. DESNUDOS EN EL SOFA. > SE QUITA LAS GAFAS.....DESNUDOS. > SE PONE LAS GAFAS....DESNUDOS. > SE LAS QUITA...DESNUDOS, > SE LAS PONE...DESNUDOS. > Y EXCLAMA: > ! COÑO QUE VAINA!...ESTA MIERDA SE JODIO!
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A Blonde's Year in Review
DATE: 09/08/2008 08:54:24 / MOOD: in love
A Blonde's Year in Review. > >January - Took new scarf back to store because it wastoo tight. > >February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to printlabels..... > Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!! > >March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzlein 6 months..... > box said "2-4 years!" > >April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power wentout!!! > >May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wronginstructions....8 cups of > water won't fit into those little packets!!! > >June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find alake with a slope. > >July - Lost breast stroke swimmingcompetition.....learned later, > the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! > >August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.... > car swamped because soft-top was open. > >September - The capital of California is "C"....isn'tit??? > >October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. > >November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days . instructionssaid 1 hour > per pound and I weigh 108!! > >December - Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no"eleven" button > on the stupid phone!!! > > >THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR > >A man was in his front yard mowing grass when hisattractive blond >female neighbor came out of the house and went straightto the mailbox. >She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back in thehouse. >A little later she came out of her house again went tothe mail box and >again, >opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back intothe house she went. > >As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here shecame out aga in, >marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed itclosed harder >than ever. >Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is somethingwrong?" > >To which she replied, "There certainly is!" > > >(Are you ready? This is a beauty...) > > >My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL." WWWEEEPPP@@@@ Se les quiere de gratis Papo Vilches
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Ghost Sex
DATE: 09/03/2008 12:10:31 / MOOD: full of life
Ghost sex > > A professor at University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the > supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many > people here believe in Ghosts?" > > About 90 students raise their hands. > "Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in > ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?" > > About 40 students raise their hands. > > "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has > anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" > > About 15 students raise their hand. > > "Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" > > 3 students raise their hands. > "That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any > of you ever had sex with a ghost?" > > Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand. The professor takes off his > glasses, and says "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, > no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to > come up here and tell us about your experience." > The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to > make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, > the professor asks, "So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex > with a ghost?" > > Bubba replied, "Shiiiit! From way back thar I thought you said "a > Goat" > Have a wonderful Day... Se les quiere de gratis!!!! Papo Vilches
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